"how can i tell you i gut people for a living.
that everything you say is likely to end up as evidence when i rewrite history.
over and over again."



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✟ st. abby ✟

Last Login:
March 26th, 2024



Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 23
Sign: Leo
Country: United States

Signup Date:
July 28, 2017

Subscriptions:

12/05/2019 04:56 AM 

Let Me Be One of Your So-Called Goddesses

i prefer hard liquor to wine but i admit i'll still miss your taste.

once again circumstances force me to extinguish the smallest flame.
(as if you're not just a cheap imitation--a second choice--a last resort when i couldn't get what i really wanted.)
day in and day out i search for empty eyes, cold hands, and worthless hearts... none of them even come close to his. 
(then-what-the-hell-is-my-goal)
because i want to be wanted and i crave your attention.
because i crave any attention.
watch me plunge into the rocky waters for any eyes or bodies to follow my form. 
"if you didn't want anyone to listen, why did you say anything at all?"
well call me mr. ross because damn, sisky. 
on that note, i'm moving to maine. 
drop my name in a magazine, honey, and i'll be at your beck and call.
no, i don't need voltaire to tell me that this isn't the best of all worlds.
my lack of you makes it clear enough.

- i want. and i don't know how to stop wanting.

11/24/2019 02:52 PM 

beware.

do not fall in love with me.

for you are only one of many and i break every heart i touch.
no, this blood only belongs to one.
one man. one star. 
when i close my eyes i only see him
and if you get me into a corner, his name is the only one that spills from my lips.
my head is not to be turned because every inch of my mind has "HIM" carved into it, and i'm nothing but faithful.
my devotion is not to be tested. 
(you-shall-not-have-any-gods-before-me)
i think you'll find yourself all colours of disappointed.
now hand me the ladder, 'cause you've got me up on this pedestal and i'm scared of heights.

a x b x b x y

11/03/2019 12:15 AM 

scavenger's daughter

i want to grab you by the rosary beads

pull you close to my face and let the proximity of our lips tempt you into committing the most egregious sin
let me corrupt you in ways that you couldn't imagine
because i think i could turn your mind to me
for i am but a simple devotee kneeling at the shrine of your feet
my god, my god, why have you abandoned me?
my screaming prayers fall on deaf ears
i'll keep one hand on my bible tonight and the other on my switchblade
we could be perfect one last night
and live like star-crossed lovers
we could live like star-crossed lovers. 
(butyouwon't)

a b b y

10/07/2019 01:18 PM 

i bet i look pretty when i cry

yeah i get it i'm weak you don't have to rub it in my face

every time it feels like i might be getting better life pulls a cruel trick and swipes the carpet from underneath my feet
i don't know what i'm doing anymore it's like i'm walking into mirrors
"can someone tell me that they're proud of me"
at this point it's just pathetic to kick me when i'm down
i'm tired of believing. i'm tired of trying. how do i not pour my heart into everything i do.
sometimes it feels like i'm one gust of wind away from crumbling into pieces.

abby

07/23/2019 03:26 AM 

To Yearn

yeah maybe too many people have me under their thumbs

but it's the warmest place i've ever been
it means everything to me, so it means nothing to you
someday i'll find a way to turn back time to the moments i never got to experience
one star one wish two eyes 
you saw me once and i'll never forget it
because i'm in your memory somewhere
and every face in your dreams is a face you've seen before, even if you don't remember
you've been in mine a million times and i'm waiting for the day i'm in yours
the thought makes my heart clench
(it-does-whatever-you-tell-it-to-anyway)

abbyx

05/11/2019 02:03 AM 

feeling sunk and betrayed

it's not really your fault

it's just years of placing rocks one by one on top of each other
and a sudden gust of wind could knock it over.
i'm wondering why you can never be kind to me
maybe i just have one of those faces that makes you want to dangle hope in front of it and snatch it away when i get too close.
next shooting star, please wish for a heart because i can't keep talking to statues.
my therapist says humanising inanimate objects is bad for my health. 
but it's hard to shake a nine-year-old habit.
the tidal waves try to drag me down but my head bobs in the water.
one more crash and i might be sleeping with the fishes.

abby x

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02/27/2019 06:46 PM 

Baby's in Black

my saccharine sweetness gives every tooth in your mouth a cavity
but that's just the way i like it
i want you to know my affection but if this all you can offer
then i'm sold, sweetheart

I think Mr. McCartney said it best
"she thinks of him and so she dresses in black"
not out of causality, but of simple coincidence 
quite simply, i think of you
quite simply, i dress in black
quite simply, i love you

and thanks about the hair
i know it's pretty radical

abby x

02/18/2019 06:56 PM 

Don't You Get It? It's You. It's Always Been You.

i have never been more envious of someone in my whole life

nor have i ever been so incensed
she had the chance to stroke your hair, touch your cheeks, and kiss your hands
but she took what was golden and pulled it to pieces
humans are such wasteful creatures.
 
maybe i’m wishing i could break the heart that broke mine
no, i would never
because that would be a crime against humanity
i could never hurt you
but i’ll gladly let you hurt me

02/16/2019 02:03 PM 

I Was Just a Passing Trend

a good little catholic boy like you

swayed by the temptations of sacrilege?
scandalous.
you see everything in nothing
which makes me wonder why you couldn't see something in me.

everyone has moved on but me
and i am stuck in this empty limbo, 
a shell of what it used to be.
i swim against the current to the green light
(icanalmostreachit)
while everybody else is climbing out of the water.

mr. fitzgerald predicted me seven decades early.

xoxoabby

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