[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

07/22/2019 08:23 PM  Journal # 66        I finally found out about my car. The damn thing is f***ed. Like, not worth keeping anymore, f***ed. I guess the car overheating totally screwed up the engine. The most important part to your car and the most expensive part to replace (I think). I might end up getting a new one. My parents gave me several different options. The first option is to trade it in and get a newer used car. The second option, is that I could sell it to the dealership and make 500$ off of it. They could use my car for car parts or some sh*t. The third option, is to get a loan and get a car. I have no clue what we are going to do. I will find out tomorrow when I see my mom for my court date.         I have been packing like crazy. I have so many things that I need to get done in ten days before our lease is up. Me and Kenny have no idea where we are going to go, but worst comes to worst, we can always live in my 12 person tent. I got it just in case times get tough like right now. It's big enough to live in for sure. I wanted to go camping this summer with it, but I don't think that is whats going to happen. We might end up living in it instead of going camping. I love camping so it wouldn't be that bad...well I hope that is lol.        Besides all this negative ass bullsh*t, I had a great time hanging out with Korri the other night. We ended up getting super smashed at my parents house and then went to the Black Bear to finish off the night. We ended up running into a women that I used to baby sit for there. Apparently Korri had met her before and totally has a girl crush on her. She said she would totally do her lol. For me this is completely and totally weird. I had a great relationship with her children. I am glad that it happened though because I always thought she hated me and I always felt kinda intimidated by her but in all reality, shes nothing like that at all. She ended up coming to my parents house and hung out with us after the bar. We all smoked weed and goofed off till it was like 5 am. It was so funny because the birds were chirping and Korri kept saying to us that the birds were mocking her lol. It was f***in hilarious! I really needed that! Not only did we have a really fun night, but I also found out that Cindy actually does like me. She said me teaching them to ding dong ditch was awesome.         I am now reading "The Boxcar Children". I got two of those books from the Little Libraries! I am so happy because that is one of the book series that I really wanted to read. I only have two of the books but thats a good start. I want to buy all of them and collect them. I feel like I am a bit of a book collector. I want to read and own, The Boxcar Children, The Series Of Unfortunate Events, Rhold Doll's Books, The Magic Tree House Books, and another series I can't remember the name of.   0 Comments

07/15/2019 10:09 PM  Journal # 65        I'm back. It's been kinda hectic around here lately. Me and Kenny are trying to find a new place to live in a matter of two weeks, so it's pretty stressful. My friend Korri said she has tones of boxes that I can use to pack. My mom is bringing some over tomorrow. I plan on packing sh*t up tomorrow. I will be packing as much as I possibly can. I am not going to pack stuff that I know I will need to use. I need to do the laundry tomorrow too. I defiantly have a tone of things to do tomorrow. I need to do some dishes tomorrow too. At least two or three loads.         I got this new book today from the Little Libraries in Madison. It's actually a super helpful cat book. It tells you why house cats do certain things. I figure, I might as well learn more about my pets! Who know's maybe it will help me to understand them better and have an even better relationship with them that I have right now. I am almost done reading Dog Beach. I counted a total of five chapters left to read till I am done with the book. I like to know these things for some weird reason. I always use two book marks. One for the chapter I am on, and one for the next chapter so that when I am reading the chapter, I know when the chapter is almost over.        I still have to go through my long sleeve shirts. If they don't fit me, I will probably end up giving the ones that do not fit me to Reyna or I will pack them away and have a garage sale next summer. Hopefully by next summer I will have even more cloths to get rid of and sell. By then I hope to be working full time at a job I will stay at and make a career out of. I plan on updating my wardrobe through good will and name brand websites of cloths that I like, the biggest one being Hollister. I don't think I will be buying anything from Aeropostle though. I have enough Aero shirts right now. It's Hollister that I want to wear all of the time. Hollister and Pink. Of course I will have other name brand cloths, I am no longer the tiny little twig that I used to be. I'm at a healthy weight now. I don't plan on loosing much weight. I am totally fine with my body except my stomach. My stomach fat needs to f***in go lol. Besides that though, I am happy with my weight and my wardrobe. I defiantly want more cloths that are updated and stuff to replace all of the cloths I have lost due to no longer fitting anymore. For the longest time I was trying to squeeze into my wayyy too small for me cloths. I wasn't used to gaining weight. I never did before! Now I actually have cloths that fit me. I have gotten some jean shorts that now fit me which by the way are a size 8 or 9 now. I used to be a size 0 to 00. That is just crazy to me.         I hope Kenny gets home soon. The cats are really hungry. We ran out of food this morning so they haven't had dinner yet. I haven't had dinner yet either though. Were all just a bunch of hungry f***s right now. I'm more worried about my cats though than myself. I won't die from hunger. Them on the other hand, are way more than half my size so I worry. I'm such a good mom. I just want my babies to be happy.         I really hope that I can go drop off my books and go look at new ones in the little libraries. We were supposed to do this like 4 days ago but every single time, Kenny has something come up. Its really starting to piss me off. Tomorrow, no if and's or but's about it, we are going. I am so sick of being in the house. I WILL get out of the house with or without him. Maybe my friend or my mom would be willing to take me to do that sense my boyfriend doesn't give a sh*t weather I'm depressed or not. Being home all of the time all day every day can get super depressing and I am defiantly reaching a depressed state. If he doesn't take me tomorrow I am going to get super bitchy and that won't be good. But, if he's smart enough, he should know by now that I will start to get mad.          Well, I should probably go. I really should try on all my long sleeve shirts. I need to figure out what cloths to put in my new apartment and what cloths need to go in a bag in storage or get donated or sold. Wish me luck guys! This is going to be a long two weeks! It's going to be hectic as F***! Talk to you later.                          0 Comments

[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

06/21/2019 07:37 PM  Journal # 63        I just did 100 crunches. I can feel the aftermath of it right now. I am trying to get into the habit of doing crunches or sit-ups every single day. I was going to just stop eating as much, but I don't want to stop eating. I have grown to love eating. I have no problem with my body except my protruding stomach. I love my big ass and my big boobs. I just want my stomach to be flat. I have gotten super basic with my selfies lately because of my size. I don't usually get too creative with them anymore. When I was skinny as f*** I could pull off any photo. I was skinny as f*** and pretty as f***. I don't feel as good about myself as I did when I weighed 118 pounds. It's hard for me to get into the habit of working out because my whole life I was skinny and never needed too. Back then I didn't really gain weight either. I had a hard time gaining much weight most my life. Now that I gained weight I can't seem to get the pounds off. It f***ing sucks which is why I am now trying to do crunches every single day. Once it gets too easy, I will have to up the amount I do a day.        I am almost done with the dishes! I have maybe like 2 or 3 more loads to soak and do. It's a good feeling to get something done. I can't stand it when the house is a mess. I really want it to look completely spotless, but I know that won't happen any time soon unless Kenny helps me clean. I've been doing really good at checking off everything that I need to do lately. I have been on a role. I am so sick of sitting at home its not even funny. I really want a job so I can buy sh*t and not have to hear it from my boyfriend when I ask him for money. Now I will be able to pay for my sh*t without Kenny helping me out all the time. I miss being able to have money to spend. It's not much, but it's still money.         I wonder when Kenny is going to be back. He has been gone for awhile. I am super f***ing bored. I don't want to drink though. I want to get high. Besides, smoking weed is way better for you than getting drunk. Weed you can't get addicted too. Alcohol on the other hand, you can. Every time you get super f***ing drunk you are risking getting alcohol poisoning, risking a mean hang over the next day, and risk throwing up depending on how much you choose to drink. None of that type of sh*t happens when you smoke weed. If anything, it has more of a positive effect on your body than harmful. No one has ever died from smoking weed. People have died from drinking too much. I really want to f***ing grow so that I never have to spend a single dime on pot ever again. I can't though until my boyfriend is off papers.         My confidence has really been up and down lately. I really need to stop comparing myself to other girls that are skinnier or prettier, and do something about it. Going back to me mentioning that I am going to be working out just my stomach. I am hoping that once my stomach fat is gone, then maybe my confidence will come back full force. I hate feeling like this. I know every single girl goes through this sh*t no matter what she looks like, but ya know. Ya can't really avoid it.        I hope Kenny gets home soon. I really want to hang out with him. I will prob work on cleaning my room aka our room, and do some dishes. It's something to pass the time. I find myself bored a lot of the time lately. I really need a job so I can get back to enjoying the little things like watching TV or reading a book. It gets old doing the same sh*t over and over again. I feel lonely. I hate not being able to hang out with people whenever the f*** I please. I haven't seen Korri in a long time. I have no idea why. Maybe she is finally stepping up to the plate and spending time with her kid. I have no idea what shes been up to. We talk once in awhile, but not very often.          0 Comments

06/20/2019 09:08 PM  Journal #62        I am drunk as hell right now. I am jamming to Phil Collins like a boss. I love him in all the Tarzan songs. The Tarzan songs were my favorite Disney movie music. I'm jamming to it right now. I love him OMG! I am a huge Phil Collins fan haha! I can thank my dad for that haha! I like a lot of music because of my dad. I grew up listening to Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister, Queen, Pink Floyd, and so on.         I am on live video right now too. Not on here obviously. I am on meet me live haha! People love watching me live. I am a pretty colorful person haha! I AM SNOOKI! As for Phil ColliI ns, hes f***ing awesome. My favorite music are from the Disney movies that has Phil Collins doing all of the music. The movies he sings the songs to are Tarzan and Brother Bear. He is an amazing artist. Has been sense he existed back in the day. My adoptive father loves him. I pretty much like any rock star that my adoptive dad likes. I love Queen and me and my family went to go see the new Queen movie and we all loved it. Even my brother Anthony said the movie was really good.         I really want to go see famous rock stars in concert with my dad. It is something on my bucket list. I am going to call him from my phone as soon as my boyfriend gets home with my phone. I have been having issues with it charging. As long as I am home I can call people but if not, I am screwed.         I gotta go I f***ed up lol.  0 Comments

[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

[ This blog post is viewable to friends only ]

Previous12...9101112131415...1819Next

View All Posts