Journal # 57
Omg! I f***ing hate painting my nails. Every time I paint my nails I end up f***ing them up during the drying process. I got this really pretty pink nail polish and I ended up messing it up. So f***ing annoying. I want to start painting my nails more though. The more I do it, the more practice I will have. With the more practice I have, the better I will get at it.
My boyfriend has been in such a pissy mood lately. I can''t f***ing stand it. He's constantly creating pointless arguments when he comes home from work. Like, leave that negativity elsewhere because I just got out of jail not that long ago, and now all I want to do is be happy and not argue anymore. I need to cleanse myself of anything bad. I don't want to sit there and argue, so a lot of times I just ignore him. I am no longer going to feed into is negative ass bullsh*t. Always wanting to start arguments is a really bad habit that he has. It's really childish and immature. I'm getting to that age where I don't want to deal with that type of sh*t. I just want my life to be peaches and roses.
I'm so happy that tomorrow is Friday! That means that we will be getting more weed! Thank god! I am a much happier person when I am high. Weed makes me want to be the best version of myself. I don't get mad as easily and I just feel really relaxed when I am high. I feel like I'm on top of the world and nothing could ruin that. I am a happier and more normal person when I am smoking weed. I have a sense of peace with the world. I feel happy when I am high as sh*t. I just want to enjoy it.
I did some stuff around the house today. I still have to do a few things, but for the most part, I did a pretty good job. All I really need to do now is the dishes that have been soaking in the sink for a few days. I am trying to get on top of that. If I don't do several dishes a day, I will end up with an extremely messy kitchen and I hate that sh*t. I used to be very into cleaning the apartment, but once we were more than half way through winter, I started to get really lazy due to being depressed. The spring weather must be f***ing with me or something because when it is really nice outside, I always want to clean the house. If it is nasty looking outside like it has been, I notice that I have a lot less motivation that I do when it is nice out. My boyfriend really doesn't do sh*t because he works all day so I am expected to clean the house, but it is very frustrating when I take the time to clean the house and he messes it up a day later. It is so f***ing frustrating! It's not hard to pick up after yourself and throw any trash that you have away. He usually trashes anything he touches. I mainly focus on cleaning the kitchen, my bedroom, and the bathroom because I don't go into the living room very often. I don't like the way that it is set up, so I don't usually sit out there anymore.
I am so tired. I am probably going to take a short nap before my boyfriend gets home. I worked really hard today. I accomplished a lot today, even though it was nothing super hard or crazy to do. I am so tired. I love sleeping. Sleeping is just the best thing ever esp when your super bored and you don't know what to do with yourself. I know I haven't really typed much this time around, but thats because I am getting tired now and I just want to go to bed. I am so tired.