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Journal # 56
This weekend I am supposed to be going to meet my birth father. I have been waiting here for my boyfriend to get off of work for awhile now. He told me he was going to be getting off around 12 pm and it is 2:10 now. My birth father called me but I am really not in the mood to talk on the phone for very long. I decided to text him instead. Kenny thinks that he is going to bail on me or something. I never even thought about that until he brought it up. Thanks a lot Kenny. Now I feel like I should hold off on packing or anything now because I'm thinking he might cancel. I don't personally think that he would do something like that, but Kenny told me ya never know. This stinks! I hope that he is completely wrong because that would be really f***ing petty of him to do. This weekend has been planed for at least 2 weeks now. I really hope that I can still go. I was planning for a fun weekend with everyone. I haven't met anyone from my dads side of the family yet. Hell, I haven't even met my dad yet! It's way over due to meet him. I feel like I get a long better with him than I do with my birth mother. She doesn't have the same personality as I do. I just heard from my bio dad and he said we could come down at any time but that we needed to get a hotel. He said he would help pay for one if we needed him too. I am so excited! I can't wait! I knew Kenny was wrong! He even sent me his address so if he was planning on doing the dip on me he wouldn't have given me his address. Even if it was a fake address, I doubt someone would stoop that low. That would be pretty f***ing bogus! I hope we get a hotel with a pool. Even if it's some basic ass pool. I haven't gone swimming in awhile and its really good exercise. I am taking a break for the weekend to not work out. I don't want people watching me. I might later at the hotel though. I have to figure out what we are going to be doing about the cats. I might just leave two big bowels of dry food out for them while were gone. My parents will be out of town this weekend so my parents couldn't come over and get the animals fed. I can't just leave wet food out it will go bad. I don't want them getting sick or anything. I worry about them. They are pretty much my children at this point. I finally finished the book I was reading. Now I am reading "The Shack". My mom read it first and then gave it to me saying it was a really good book. So far I'm liking it. I'm not very far into the book right now though. I am only on chapter two. If you already like a book in the first chapter, then thats an indicator its going to be a really good book. I try to read a chapter or two every single day. I don't think there is ever a day that I don't read. I would much rather read a book than watch TV, that is until I can no longer focus on reading anymore. Kenny's cat Princess, has been really friendly with me lately. I think shes finally getting used to me. I used to yell at her a lot and sometimes chase her around the house out of frustration when she scratched on the furniture. I stopped doing that though. Now I just use the spray bottle and then they go running. I don't have to really do much lol. As much as they frustrate me sometimes, I still love them to pieces. They are acting their age too lol. They are still children in the people world. They are both about two or three years old. Human toddlers, do the exact same thing my cats do. It's kinda funny if ya think about it. I'm much more patient now because it's not like they can understand what I am saying and I can understand what they are saying. That only happens once in awhile. My self-esteem is finally back now. I have been getting hit on like crazy too! Guys are constantly giving me attention. Maybe I feel prettier because I am prettier? LOL! I have no f***ing idea. I doubt it. Anyways, I really feel myself. I don't feel super unattractive like I was feeling. It's been weird for me to get used to weighing the most I have ever weighed in my life which is 118 or so pounds. That's what it said the last time I weighed myself. I really want to. I hope that Kenny is off of work soon or is not home yet because he is going and cashing his check and sh*t. I was thinking about calling him but I don't want to get him in trouble at work. I think I will just wait awhile and then text him. I am getting rather tired though. I think I am going to lay down for awhile.
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