Journal # 54
Wow do you guys have a lot to catch up on sense the last time I wrote. I just got out of jail on Monday. Me and my friend Korri had gotten caught stealing from Walmart. The cops checked the price of all of the stuff we had stolen together and it equaled five hundred and seven dollars. Because of the price of all of it together, they had to arrest us. If they had gone through and separated our stuff out it would have only been a ticket to pay. They didn't want to take the time to sort through who stole what so they just arrested us.
In the holding cell, Korri and I were in tears and hugging each other. We were terrified of being in jail. Neither one of us had a bail either so we knew we would be in there for a little while. When I went to jail the first time, I had a bail posted so that I could get out that same day. This time around, we did not have a bail. We had to stay in jail until our court date. Me and Korri were in there for close to three days.
After doing all of the finger prints, talking to doctors, and taking your mug shot, they finally took me to a jail sell. There were probably a total of eight people in that room. The room had about six bunk beds, a shower, toilet, sink, phone, small TV, and a lunch table in the middle of the room. This was going to be where I was staying for the next few days. As I walked into the room, I said hello to everyone. It was weird having all the attention on me. One of the women asked me what I was in trouble for and then pretty soon after that, we were all having conversations. I ended up meeting a girl who was around my age. Our bunk beds were right next to each other's. We both slept on the top bunk, which didn't have a railing by the way.
Most of us women got along in that room. There was just one girl in particular that no one liked and her name was Krystal. This girl just loved to hear herself talk and run her mouth. This girl kept telling everyone that it wasn't her fault that she was in there. She wouldn't own up to her mistake. She told everyone that her mother-in-law forgot to cancel something on her credit card so the rental place said that Krystal stole the car when really, Krystal just stole a rental car. This bitch had like three f***ing stomachs too.
I would have to say that the worst part about being in jail is not getting your prescription medication right away. I didn't get any of my medication until the last day I was in jail. It should be illegal to keep someone from their medications. I went through such bad withdrawal from not having any of my medication for days. I was experiencing a tone of typical symptoms when someone is going through a drug withdrawal. My hands felt clammy, my body was shaking, I was hot one minute and cold the next, I felt super weak, could not stop sweating, my poop was green and yellow, and the list goes on. It was horrible! The only time my body felt normal was when I was in the shower.
At one point, J.J. cornrowed her own hair and several of us asked her if she could do our hair and I was one of them. She did mine and it was super cute. I really want to learn how to do my hair like that. We have talked a few times now sense we have gotten out and plan to hang out this weekend. She said she would teach me how to do it like she does and a few other things I wanted to learn how to do from her. I feel like sense we were closer in age, me and J.J. bonded the most. There was one point where Krystal was attacking me about something petty and she ended up snapping on her like hard core and defending me. That Krystal girl was just really f***ing jealous of me. I was the prettiest girl there besides J.J. Me and J.J. kept talking about how when we got out of jail that we were going to get high as sh*t lol. I told her we should smoke together some time. She was totally down.
When I was in jail, I kept having to use the toilet because I had the nervous sh*ts. I have never been one to be able to use the bathroom in front of people. I can usually pee but not sh*t. Sense I have been in jail, that has all changed. I no longer care. I have seen everyone in there naked, I have seen them use the toilet, there is really no boundaries in there.
Sense this was my first time staying longer than 4 hours, I was really scared. I thought that I would end up panicking because I couldn't get any of my medication. I have severe anxiety, so this means I am extra sensitive. I really did good in there though. I am really proud of myself. I didn't freak out and panic at all. I cried a lot and moped around, but that's about it. I didn't get much sleep in there, but I was okay.
The best part of my day was talking to my boyfriend and my parents. I would call them both several times a day. It felt nice to talk to them and get reassured several times a day that you are going to be okay. Giving you hope that you will get out of jail in a few days instead of being stuck in there for a good while. I was only in jail for about three days and it felt like a week.
I always felt like I could never get clean when I was in there. I always felt disgusting and sweaty. The deodorant they gave us would make us smell worse than if we weren't wearing any deodorant. We were also given one outfit. Imagine sweating constantly in the same cloths with no deodorant. It was terrible! Most of the guards were really mean too. You would talk to them through the door for whatever reason you needed them for and they would treat you like you were scum and didn't deserve to exist. None of us were ever mean to the guards either. They would just be rude all the time for no reason at all.
On our last day there, me and Korri finally get put in the same sell together. I was getting ready to take a nap when I hear Korri say my name. I turn around and see Korri! I jump out of bed and hug her. I had missed her so much! We had barely gotten to talk at all sense we had gotten there. Once Korri was in the same sell as me and all the lovely ladies I had grown to love, jail was getting a little easier and easier. I talked and talked and talked with Korri and it made the time go faster. Soon enough, we would also get out of jail.
I defiantly learned my lesson being in there. I really did. I don't want to ever get into trouble like that again. I really don't. It was horrible being in there. They treat you like animals. The food was the most horrible thing I have ever tasted in my life! The medication withdrawal was horrible too! I need to get my sh*t together and stop breaking the law. I don't want to ever go through that ever again. The conditions in there are horrible and so nasty. I am so happy to be home with my animals and my boyfriend again. I have really missed them. You don't realize how easy you got it until it is taken away from you. Hopefully someone is reading this and I can make a difference so that someone else doesn't have to go through what I went through. Jail is not the place that you want to be!
Today is a much better day. Kenny is giving me 100$ to go shopping again. Just completely out of the blue. He doesn't have to do that for me but he does. We have talked about marriage. When I was in jail it made me realize how much I loved him and I want to be with him. I don't want to be with anyone else other than him.
I have been trying to learn dance moves by watching the game "Just Dance" you YouTube. I want to learn the dance just to learn the dance. I always loved dancing and singing growing up. I was defiantly born to entertain. I want to also do it because dancing is a work out. That is why dancers are all skinny. It's a work out to dance.