Marriage and me!
The one thing I always heard before I got married was that marriage is hard work and that marriage was hard. But I came to find that marriage isn't as hard as everyone made it sound especially when you communicate with your spouse and have the ablity to talk about the things that are bothering you. My husband and I found the easiest way to communicate was for us to remind ourselves that when you're fighting it isn't you against your spouse, it's you against the problem. My husband and I have faced several problems together and always came out on the other end better for it. Communicating is so important in relationships, but I promise my husband and I weren't always so good at communicating.
When my husband and I were first married we had this horrible habit of taking our problems and buring them deep down until we were finally able to just ignore them and make excuses for our snide remarks to one another as we past going to the kitchen for our morning coffee. The problem became though that because we weren't telling each other what was bothering us we began fighting, not the best way to start off a new marriage, but we didn't understand being twenty years old and naive that if we would just put away our stupid pride and make each others feelings matter our problems could go away. Finally after our umptenth big fight we decided we'd had enough; something had to change. So we sat on our bed and talked into the wee hours of the early morning and discussed all the problems we had with one another and what was truly bothering us. He mentioned that he thought I nagged too much, and I mentioned that I thought he was far too carefree. We talked all our problems out and remembered that when we were fighting and bringing these issues to the surface it wasn't me against him or him against me, it was us against our problem.
We made all our feelings known adn reminded each other that our feelings were important, if we were going to fix anything his feelings had to be just as important as mine.
Here we are nearly ten years of relationship and four years married and we have very little issue talking out our problems with one another and rememebering that some times we have to sit down and talk about what might be bothering the other person. Marriage doesn't have to be hard, in fact if you have to work so hard at a marriage you might be time that you sit down and talk to one another and try to figure out what problems might be eating at you.
And always remember, when you fight it isn't you guys against one another it's you guys verses the problem.