I'm A Bad Loser (Not Meaning I'm Terrible At Losing)
Three shots in the dead of the night
Three shots and I can't hear, not quite
For each bullet is like a cry
And each tear brings tears to my eyes
Leave things as they are (don't show up)
Unless you need something from in here
You're a fool to think I forgot the lock
I'm just sad to learn you won't disappear
Your pink lips are white lies if they part
You can trick me but not for that long
Though I long for what wasn't long
Though you may still play the part
Dress up for the days hearts collide
Paint tears on your face with a brush
Then get them off in a rush
Soon as you find an ugly side
Am I fooling myself now?
Tell me, are all these delusions and lies?
Who can I trust, who can I not,
If the girl in the mirror wants my skin off my bones
And the ones on my side...
Can I trust you when you say it's in my head?
If I have these thoughts each time I go to bed.
And the tone is each time more convincing
When it says my face is sickening.
I don't mean to burden you
I don't wish to bring you down
But here, at the very bottom of my mind
There's no light that filters through the cracks
There's nothing that's holding me back
And oh, I forgot to mention,
The sign reads "No entrance"
I'm hoping for renewal because I don't know how long I'll last
I'm begging for friends because I only see ghosts of my past
and patterns that repeat themselves endlessly in my eyes
Like the were burnt to the top of my corneas
If you were gonna pretend you could've told me from the start.
and each time i so desperately asked you if you hated me.
and each time i begged you to leave me, to leave because i'm no good.
and if i really am as selfish and bad.
then why the hell are you still around?
and can you tell me when's your one way ticket away from me due?