Mental Illness

I admit it. I'm not the same person I was 3 years ago. I was happy, outgoing, daring, secure, proud, and fearless. Now, I can't even leave my house without getting anxiety. Even to hang out with my best friends. I can't do this anymore! I miss who I used to be so so much! If I wanted to be friends with someone I would go for it and be friends with them. Just trying to live life in general is a huge struggle for me. I am not living a normal life at all. I never said anything to anyone about the way I was acting until last night. I'm literally scared of everything. I can't date anyone because I'm mentally unstable and I can't make new friends to hang out with either because I'm terrified to do so. Not to long ago I was the girl who had a tone of friends and it was hard to keep me at home. Now you can't get me to leave the house. What is wrong with me? I'd really like to know! I'm a completely different person now and I'm always unhappy with everything. I don't get excited anymore to color my hair (which always made me happy), I don't get excited for really anything anymore because I feel like I am just existing at this point and I'm not living. Life isn't fun for me anymore. I can't enjoy anything. If nothing gets better soon, I might just say f*** it and make the really hard choice of getting admitted and have them detox me from all of my meds, and start me completely over because my anxiety meds are not working and I've been dealing with this sh*t for almost a year now.