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today was nice. we talked for like an hour in the morning, and then we texted. we watched sesame street. that was really fun, i didnt watch it(Or a lot of shows) when i was a kid, and maggie couldnt believe it lol. give me mud is a really good song. we talked about pokemon and our favorites for a little bit too. maggies favorite pokemon is haunter, which is a really good choice! i talked about how i used to play the card game and she called me a nerd lmao. she laughed when i told her i like(mostly used to) judge shows. then we talked about joe luis. she had a cousin who went on it. then we ate dinner together and watched some baskets. thats really fun. eating dinner with maggie is so nice. we talked about maggies emptiness. it made me sad to hear what they have to go though. i try to be there as much as i can but idk i wish there was more i can do. thinking about maggies death makes me feel really bad. this entrys written pretty poorly cus i dont feel great rn. sorry :/

Thinking about adding some more videos to my Youtube acoount, why don't you go show it some love? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgtMKox5Oy7wMT_7Uz4BaMA

day 20: swallowdir. carlo mirabella-davis8/10avail free on seriesonline.io i think?? idk its been a minalso TW eds!!hello? 911? yeah this girls oscar is missingthe universal female experience of eating a little horse and having an ab0rti0n in the mall ♥ 

day 19: sucker punchdir zack snyder9.5/10avail on netflix yeah ik its not horror but im going as blondie for halloween so f*** off we open on a fem cover of sweet dreams on an old americana set where a young early 00s starlet in pigtails weeps over a dead woman’s body and (spoilers) child murder . best movie best F***ING MOVIE. the visuals. the costumes. the sets. the layers. oh? a group of traumatised women escaping their reality by inventing a world in which they have more and more agency as well as physical power? and they got cute leather corsets and big ass guns?  and it’s about sacrifice and pain and learning to live and learn from trauma?  i want to melt this movie in a spoon and shoot up.   tw SA

day 18: the descentdir neil marshall9/10sexy bitches, cave moster, blood, guts, and scandals. need i say more??(fr tho one of the scariest horror films ive ever seen AND the only one ive seen w an all female cast)

day 17: mother!dir darron aronofsky9/10available free on seriesonline.io(this is like the only time ill put a spoiler warning bc i thik its best 2 go into this movie blind. TWs at the end) This film is intense. It drags you to the depts of human sickness and its shows you a glimpse, a moment of glittering, shining perfection. Then it rips you back to the sh*t and the filth of the world. I have only cried at a few films in my life- this one came the easiest. Usually I have to think, really think about the pain on screen. I didn’t even have to digest the pictureque layer- I was crying because I was sad. I was crying because my house was in ruins and I lost my child. You are not an outsider (even though humanity is an intruder). You are Mother Mary. And you are pulled through the f***ing ringer. And I mean it. War, famine, pestilence, death. They invade you. You think it can never end, and it doesn’t. And then everyone is dead. And everything is quiet. And then you are at peace. mother, although she cannot control any of the things happening to her (excluding the end) is one of the strongest, if not the strongest, female voice in horror. as the film is able to drown us in the complexities of human cruelty, mother is able to display the complexities of human emotion. We are never impartial to her state of mind. This film is possibly only interesting to those with a background in or knowledge of christianity, islam, or Judaism, though it mainly follows the Christian New Testament, especially in the second half of the film. The latter two of the three are not as acuralty portrayed in the story, but when the poets followers are divided in their beliefs, it does present an interesting view of how all three religious first divulged. I can see why some don’t like it- if you have little to no interest in religion, even from an atheist perspective like me (I believe god/s and spirituality is useful for reflection, empathy, and community, rather than what it has become in modern practiced organized religion) religions use as a means of violence, or if you feel no interest in human psychology and society, this may not be the film for you. If you aren’t taken by mother as a character, if you don’t see the film from her perspective, you will likely be very disappointed in it.   And also it has sexy domnall Gleeson in it  TW for: rioting, excessive police force, childbirth, the bible, and images of: sex trafficking, murder, execution, human sacrifice, nudity, sexual assault (but not r4p3), baby murder, baby cannibalism, vomiting, missing ribs, sluttyness, burning bodies, and piss. 

day 16: the evil deaddir sam rami9.5/10avail free on seriesonline.ioinvented horror bimbos & himbos #ashforfinagirloftheyear #demoncherylforhomophoicqueenoftheyear 

anytime i listen to Korn, i feel like Dib from Invader Zim, something about Korn's songs make me feel like a lonely little middle schooler all over again. Even though it sucks to have no friends, something about that feeling is comforting but like in a nostalgic way. Its weird to really like a band that reminds you of a crappy time. Sometimes i feel like i was meant to be a loner and all my friends are temporary, ill never shut up about my friends, i feel so lucky to know all of them. ♥

Me trying to BE:Everyone: Go VoTe

hello all, I don't really know if peoples are actually following my blog, but hello 

Currently watching Dr Stone, Princess Connect, Gibiate, and Tokyo Ghoul ^_^ 

Hey peeps! I was wondering where I could get some "scene" clothes? Ive been emo for a while, and my moms goth, so most of my clothes is black. I was wondering if anybody knew brands or stores that have scene-ish style clothes? Thank u!

we talked in the morning for a little which was nice, and maggie tested the allergy theory. they just needed to wash the bottle more, so thats good. im happy that they figured it out. we played cod for a few hours which was pretty fun, but i played pretty bad again. i missed maggie a lot yesterday, and i didnt feel good so it was kinda bad timing. i really wanna try maggies cooking. i bet its really good:) and maggie showed me kitchens that they liked. they were awesome! and then, they showed me a bunch of cool stuff on pinterest! ik my future with maggie is really bright. i cant wait to see them. were gonna go to the beach for our first date. it makes me really happy to think about. i got her an adorable stuffie:) i love the one she got me. i hug it every night. 

i think we've progressed past the need for gender at all, not that we ever needed it in the first place. im just part of the universe inhabiting this body to experience pain and then be reincarnated. i dont need labels i just need to exist. im not a girl, not a boy, not anything in between. im just energy in a body till the end,.