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tw s*ic*dei keep on wondering how people would react if i killed myself. with others feel sorrow? will the ones who hurt me feel regret? or will they not care? my questions will be left unanswered and it distresses me.

I have not slept in 20 hours. In a Google Meet with the audio muted because I do not care. I just need to do stupid sh*t to stay awake for the rest of the day so I do not get flagellated by the court mage in charge of my school. I will probably fall asleep in like 2 hours though. I should drink some God Damn C*ffee so I am NOT tired. That would be cool and great.Besides complaining I have recently acquired a copy of Soulcalibur III for the PS2 from a pal and I have been enjoying the game like it's 2006. Fun game, annoying but not too bad for a fighting game. I don't particularly like fighting games like Street Fighter or Tekken or Mortal Kombat or basically and highly competitive combo-based games. But Soulcalibur is awesome because you can create f***ed up silly characters and kick some ass or get your ass handed to you on a meathook (some custom characters will just f***ing Suck). Raphael and Mitsurugi are my favorites and "mains." They are cool!

my french teacher is so mean, i hate her x_xshe made me hate the french language and i could care less about not paying attention to my class. when she said she felt as if i didnt care abt my class, i wish i could've said 'yea i dont!!!!' T_T

currently 4:54a.m. No idea where my life is going, probably gonna sleep in till 3p.m. for the 3rd week in a row. Hahahaha I hate it here edit: it’s 7:20 a.m. what the f*** 

(this is how i feel about the anime community on TIK TOK based from experience) i literally hate the anime community so much i can see why the "normies"(why do we even call them that?) hate us so much  where do i even start... 1 they always hate on the "normies" btw its such a weird term to call someone who doesnt watch anime that anywho they hate on them when they use anime audios or start watching anime bcuz its a "trend" like they literally hate on them for just having fun let them live jeez also why cant you just appreciate the fact that more people are starting to watch anime, is it really that bad if you didnt start watching anime when you were 8??? and they think they're funny by saying "LeVi YoU MiSsEd OnE" or "WhAtS yOuR nAMe AgAiN*notebook emoji*" UGGHHH IT GETS ON MY NERVES  2 they invalidate other peoples top anime list and call it mid and say that its mainstream stuff like that, ITS LITERALLY MAINSTREAM FOR A REASON BCUZ MANY PEOPLE ENJOY IT also its THEIR list and THEIR opinion and what THEY like.. its called MY top list for a reason!!!! 3 they think they are funny for spamming japanese words with emojis in between and think its top tier comedy?! espicially the one in late last year when they copypaste the ybc op w emojis AND THEY STILL DO, that sh*t is literally overused and just not funny at all :[ 4 they compare anime characters to any asian person they see on tik tok and say "OmG hE lOoKs JuSt LiKe KeNmA" when they just literally have blonde hair?! they dont even look alike?! one time i even saw a volleyball game on youtube and the comments were "iRl HiNaTa" instead of comparing them to 2D characters, can you just appreciate their actual talent instead? back to tik tok, there are even times when they comment "OmG aNiMe GiRl" CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?? BCUZ I DONT UNDERSTAND they just sound stupid af commenting stuf lik that also they always say "i want to go and live in japan someday" i mean i understand that japan seem like a cool place to visit but you HAVE TO STOP glamourizing japan, just because they have anime doesnt mean that its some magical wonderland thats perfect but its NOT, japan also has its flaws and problems just like any other country 5 i literally HATE WITH ALL MY HEART THE MEN IN THE ANIME COMMUNITY(not all but the ones who act like this) they want a gf who watches anime but they bash the women who make content about anime(or watch anime in general) JUST LIKE THEM and they hate on them FOR NO REASON AT A L L and then go and cry about how sad bunny girl senpai and keep saying zerotwo is their waifu or whatever bland sh*t content they make but i mean they hate us cuz they ain't us  6 i literally saw a person on tik tok CRYING bcuz there was a theory that our comfort characters were our friends in a past life and thats why they're our comforct characters or WHATEVER THIS STUPID SH*T YA'LL MAKE UP sweetheart.. THEY ARE 2D DRAWINGS THEY CAN NEVER BE REAL SO STOP CRYING OVER SH*T!! also i hate the people who age up characters just so they can LEWD THEM?! THEY ARE MINORS FOR PETE'S SAKE AND YOU AGE THEM UP JUST SO YOU COULD LEWD THEM THAT IS SO DISGUSTING I- I CANT EVEN 7 this is probably the last one i want to talk about so here goes.. i hate it when i see manga or manwha recs and i see comments like "im sorry but i only read yaoi" or "i would read it if only it was yaoi" OR EVEN "im sorry i dont read straight mangas/manwhas" LIKE WHAATTTT?! there a lot of good straight mangas/manwhas as well you know like MARS, Last Quarter, Our Happy Hours(btw go read them if you see this) and MANY MORE!! AS WELL AS GL! there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with reading bl but i think there is a problem when you strictly only read bl and nothing else. AND ITS ALWAYS COMING FROM THE STRAIGHT GIRLS, just say you fetishize mlm and go. that's all i have to say for this rant and i hope you enjoyed it to whoever reads this. i also want to say NOT EVERYONE in the anime community is like this on tik tok(i say tik tok bcuz thats the only platform ive been in the fandom) but there are A LOT like as in majority are like this and i know there are probably people who would say that im not a "weeb"(btw also hate that term you can research on google about the history behind it) and whatever but idgaf anwho thats all for now, goodbye </3

ALGUIEN PODRIA HABLAR DE LO HERMOSA QUE ES HYEJOO DE LOONA!? LITERALMENTE LA AMO DEMASIADO BASTA-mesientomaslesbianaahora

Volvi de mi muerte >:D! , Feliz año a todos ♥! ,, espero que este año no sea tan de mierda lol

ive tried for like an hour and they dont show up when i put them on my profile :(((

Today I made a mug brownie (a brownie in a mug) but it was super sweet so I couldn't finish it. Next time I will instead eat my classic mug of wet dirt mixed with driveway gravel instead.Also hung a shelf on the wall today so that was very exciting.

im so poggers

Can someone please help and explain how I can get YouTube videos/or music on my profile. How can I add pictures to my profile? Thank you so much

my layout is so pretty but u can barely read the text >_<

found some pro-trump bozo. i dont get how people can like that cunt, hes literally a terrible person who even encouraged people to raid the white house?? anywayz

maggie woke up feeling kinda ehh about us cus of the stuff that they heard last night. im honestly really sad about it, cus theres nothing i can do. they made a funny mistake today lol. they were in a zoom call watching the broadcasting, and they were making jokes with their brother, and said DAAAMNNNNN really loud when they showed an ocean baptism, but their mic was on the whole time lmao. now they dont wanna speak in meetings anymore, which i get. the headphones maggie reccommended got here today:) theyre awesome! we watched some cool videos about the bible together. the first one was about this cool exhibit that shows a lot of origin stuff, and the other one was about getting english translated bibles into england. it was fun watching stuff with them. we also watched a video about the bible getting translated into an indigineous language in peru. that was really cool:) they had to go for a bit to prepare food. they were making burgers:) i bet they were really good. maggie let me hear their mom practicing with her old english books haha. i was feeling kinda bad today, so maggie sent me a hug through the phone:) ik that when maggie hugs itll make everything ok:) we did our watchtower study together:) that was so much fun:) adn then after a bit we played lots of cod together:) i had a great time and we did pretty well most of the time, but we did lose a few ranked games. were getting closer and closer to getting legendary:) maggie called me cute  they also took a couple minute break to scream :P i bet their screams are adorable. maggies pinky started getting tired, so we stopped playing. we talked for a sec, and then i read maggie a bedtime story:)))) its the first time ive read to them in a while it was really nice:) we read their favorite book where the wild things are:) 

it was super cold today. maggie was super busy today. they started doing stuff at like 9 am and didnt finish until like 2 :o we tallked more about the stickers today, and maggie came up with some really good ideas to market everything. maggie put my cashapp name in a raffle to win a dollar:) i didnt win though, but it was really sweet of them. i wanted to share it with them. we talked for a little while, but they wanted to hear my mom and brother talk, so i went and sat in the living room so they could. it was a weird talk and maggie was making funny jokes, but my brother said some things about maggie that made me really mad. wee listened to the gta vice city radio and went to bed:)