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02/10/2019 10:52 PM 

Current mood:  adored

Hello everyone I made a video I hope you all like it and maybe will sub. Link down below!

youtube, tranquilcolors, friends,


02/10/2019 09:24 PM 

rAwr !!!

RAWRR xD i havent posted a pic of meh 4 a long time so i figured yall shuld get an updateeeee.


02/10/2019 12:19 PM 


Why does it matter to me what you think? It hurt me. Probably one of the things that’s hurt me the most in life. It shouldn’t matter whether you think it’s just a small thing or “these things happen” or “this’ll happen a lot in your life.” Why would u belittle my f***ing pain. I’ve been hurt by people before I know. I know people are awful I know. But there’s nothing that’s hurted like this before. 

And I think you belittling it makes it hurt more. 

my stupid thoughts, personal, vent


02/09/2019 06:37 PM 

..dear you
Current mood:  apathetic

was it stupid of me to ever think

that there could have every been a me and you 
did i really think you'd stop your capriciousness
just for me?

am I pathetic for ever thinking that 
you actually cared
i should've known better than to give into the optimism
i should've believed myself when i knew it wouldn't end well

i knew your intentions, every last one of them,
yet I indoctrinated myself into thinking that maybe I was
the only exception

i have hesitancy to associate with you, from my own beliefs, 
not influenced from the words of my friend's telling me to stay away
even though you hurt me 
and you'd hurt me again in a heartbeat
I still want to be there next to you 

i want to hear your laugh a million times 
and i want to buy you a puppy 
but the time for that is over now 
as it so seems 

i'm sure we'll speak again soon
but every mention of you and every word you say 
brings me back to that time 
and it f***ing hurts 

i wish everything could be the way it used to be
as cliche as that is 
i just wanna be happy with you
i just want you to be happy and healthy

but i guess it's all up to you


my dumb thoughts, personal, vent


02/09/2019 11:45 PM 

journal # 42

       Guys are so annoying. I haven't been single in over a year and they still try. It's so annoying. Why would I leave for your ugly, pathetic, thirsty ass? Sometimes I will go on Facebook messenger and pretend to be him to get them to f*** off. No offense men, but none of you are good enough. None of you will ever measure up to my boyfriend. He takes care of me and besides us getting into arguments and him making mistakes once in awhile, he's a much better man than any of you. I do not want you! It's funny that your trying though when your completely out of my league. 

       I am that girl that every guy wants but can't have. Ever sense I have gotten with Kenny, I have realized what I want in a relationship and what I expect. I will never settle for a piece of sh*t guy ever again (but hopefully I won't ever have to do that). I used to date these crappy ass guys that only had to offer there looks. For the longest time, I started to think that the only good thing about having a hot guy on your arm was the way they made you look in public, and sex. Now my outlook has changed. I look back and the guys I used to date and the sh*t that I put up with and I think to myself, "Wow! How could I have been so stupid?" 
       Life is pretty great right now. I have been reading a lot, cleaning, and watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch on Hulu (the original). I love that show! I like it more than the new one that came out on Netflix a few months ago. Call me old fashioned but the new Sabrina Spellmen is ugly as f***. She can't compare to the original Sabrina. Sorry! NOT sorry! Bitch you nasty!
       I've been thinking about writing books. I have a very big imagination so I think I could really shine doing something like that. I really enjoy reading and writing/typing. I started writing one of my stories already. It's about 2 young girls that got tricked into picking up a puppy and ended up getting kid napped. The book needs some work, but once I'm finished with it, I might have it published or something. I just absolutely love reading and writing. 
       I'm getting onto food stamps! I really need it, esp sense I'm currently not working. Were running out of good food to eat here at my apartment. It really sucks because I'm a super picky eater so I can't ever find anything appealing enough for me to eat.
      My roommate moved out of the apartment! No offense to her, but I'm glad she left. Now, me and Kenny are living together. Now, instead of one room belonging to someone, we have the whole top floor shared by both of us. He has my old bedroom as his area to mess up and then we share a room. It's kinda nice for when we are fighting. We can both get away from each other and have our own space! When I am angry, I NEED my own space. If I don't have space when I am pissed off, I just end up exploding and when I explode, I'm a very mean person. So with that being said, it all works out!
        I don't know if anyone else ever has this problem, but I took some really pretty pictures today and now I am having a hard time choosing which one is the best and that I want to post to Facebook. It's kinda frustrating. I don't want to post all of them though. I mean I could, but I don't want to. I wish it was easy. Its so frustrating trying to pick the right photo. Pretty girl problems man. It sucks!

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