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his words flowed like the calm waves of a river. and he could keep me attentive for hours. his long blonde hair, which he swore was brown  was gratifying to my eyes. his captivating smile which i fell in love with so quickly was like no other he learned me. learned what i loved, what i hated. it was seemingly effortless. our relationship was a summer day tranquil and joyous. i had become immersed in every part of him. and him, me.  until the river became intense. those once calm waves turned violent. he began to manipulate every ounce of my being because he learned me.  our relationship turned rigid. i was then merely an item, used for his own pleasure. i knew if i had objected to the treatment, he’d leave forever. i had not yet lost hope, but i should have. i should have. i should have saved myself, released myself from his grip, despite the pain because little did i know that pain would’ve been exceptional, compared to the numbness and loss of self i would soon endure. before i knew it, his words that flowed like the waves that beautiful blonde hair, which he swore was brown and his captivating smile, which i fell in love with so quickly, too quickly. It all became memories. of a person who became a stranger. and a relationship that became insufferable.  

Something tells me, I shouldn't have done that. Now I'm worried, what if something goes wrong. If it does they'll know who to blame, ME!

wanna cut my hair again after someone made a comment abt it >:|

fart ?

im bored + Idk how to feel cultured but kissing scares me. It's literally disgusting

hes a cunt. but i love him and thats that. hmu if you think im hot tho still dtf

rawr xd!meheme!!!lawlz!XD

Still don't know why no one remembers me but my copycat more people remember! Don't you guys remember that girl who schooled Polka Dots Kaulitz for copying her as the bitch has no originality? I was the one Polka Dots Kaulitz copied, you all should legit renember since you remember her! It was on Sticky Drama AND Myspace WITH EVIDENCE!!! Also, to all my former friends who cut me off to be friends with my ex, Austin Strange/Skitzo King, dumb mistake! I hope your inbox is flooded with him asking for foot pics! I don't care since you made your choice!Also, back to Polka Dots Kaulitz, anti racism doesn't mean kissing up to black people and going on about Asians trying to rip off Americans! I take offense to that since I am in fact a quarter Japanese so I was legit the wrong person to say that to! Also, since we're talking about racism, why is the media refusing to cover the racism that us Asian Americans have been getting since everyone has been panicking about COVID? We get 500 times more racism than people think because the media is too concerned with political lies and black lives matter! Hello, we also get racism and it has gotten violent! When someone assaults elderly Asian Americans simply for their race and don't get arrested for a hate crime, that's an issue! And no one can tell me I'm being lied to! I'm a quarter Japanese! And I'm done being told to go back to Japan and take Covid with me! Excuse me? I was born in Chula Vista, California, my mom is Armenian and white mixed race, my dad is half Japanese and half Irish, I have every right to be here!I don't care if anyone gets offended! I see everyone as equal! Hell, I'm not even homophobic, can't be, I myself am bi, and I am not Transphobic! I accept all religions, yes, even you Christians calling me a "devil worshipper"! Rant is over though!

feeling bored af. i wnna see my irl friendz so bad. im tryna hit up my plug rn lol

hey girl hey 😩😩 

i have a headache ejesus ichrist 

   WE ARE FINALLY MOVING! I've been dreaming to move for a long time and just start all over. But I'm kind of sad tho. That'll mean that I will have to miss my theatre show at the end of the year and miss getting our school yearbooks and miss the STARR test that will determine if I'm ready to go to high school or not. I really wished we would've moved in the summer. I'm worried that if I move I will probably have to restart the 8th grade. Ugh, Ill ask my science teacher if that will affect my education or not. I always ask my 8th-grade science teacher this kind of stuff because he seems like the type who knows his stuff. I'm really worried and If I do restart, I will literally kill myself. Because I have worked too hard to just waste all that. I've already got held back in 3rd-grade because I didn't care about my school life. IM SO MAD AT MY 3rd GRADE SELF, IF I WASNT SOO IRRESPONSIBLE I WOULDVE ALREADY BE IN HIGHSCHOOL BY NOW! Whatever, the day that I get enrolled in a Chicago middle school, I am not going to waste any time! I will have to prove to those Chicago teachers that I am ready for highschool.     Another thing I will miss is this Chromebook. I literally type my blogs in here than my phone. Because it has this grammar error check which I ALWAYS USE. Because I can't type to save my life. Also watching movies and shows on here. The school has always been trying to block those free movie websites, but I always find a way to watch movies on here. They can't block everything, right. Once I move I need to convince my dad to buy me my own laptop or hope the school I'm going to gives each student their own Chromebook to take home, but buying my own will be better. I'll just have to use my phone for the time being.    You're probably wondering that I'm going to miss my friends right. Well, your WRONG! I hate those fake ass bitches, especially Monicah. The only real friend that I will miss is Kaylee Kelsey (pretty sure that's not how to spell her first name but I tried). She is literally the only girl that actually cares about my existence in my opinion. I could say Gissele too but she wasn't really a friend who hanged out with us every second of the day but yeah I guess Ill miss her too. But the other 3 bitches, Monicah Mijack, Saheedabee, and Shamim can go to hell.    Once we moe here I have to start caring about my hygiene, yeah I do care but I need to be really serious. Because this is the place that my family will actually stay for the rest of my high school career. I can NOT give them any reason that I stink. My hygiene during 5th-6th grade was HORRIBLE. I'm surprised they haven't bullied me after all that. Whatever once we move I'm going big time. Buying perfumes and all those brand-made products everyone has, not those cheap dollar store items. Also start applying for a job if I'm in high school or during the summer so I could save up for COLLEGE!    and don't worry I am going to take every note and notebooks and taking them with me, especially science notes. Because something tells me that I'm going to need it. 

h

So im kinda new here..! Just wanted some friends :)

ok so because of corona we had to do our therapy thing over zoom. it was our last week and the people in the group were pretty cool. so i ask in the chat if anyone wants to make a gc and everyone says yes. but then evil therapist says we're not allowed to socialize (it's such a dumb rule, they're literally encouraging us to make friends-) and turns off the chat. then, i did the ballsiest thing i've ever done and renamed myself to "(email). hmu lol". and then evil a**hole therapist changed my name back but everyone saw before he did and everyone emailed me and we all made an insta chat. the end lol